Don’t let the clickbait style headline fool you. I’m not pregnant!
No, today’s post is dedicated to the “Baby on Board” badge.
The first one I’d like to address is the one women wear on their coat in the hope to get people to offer them a seat on the tube. As a frequent tube user, I can assure you a post dedicated to all the tube’s problems is coming!
So I’m not even sure how many women I have seen pop up with the badge, be offered a seat and say no. Why wear it? Sometimes they aren’t even showing so they need the badge to encourage people to part with their seat, only for their chivalrous effort to go unappreciated. Then there is the complete opposite, the women who look like they could pop any day now, who feel the need to don the badge. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the badge isn’t huge, the bump in front of you is and so it’s much more likely to attract my attention. Then there is possibly the worst baby on board badge. The one that isn’t there but the seat is offered anyway. Maybe a big lunch was had, maybe they’re fat or bloated or maybe the little old lady on the tube wanted to stretch her legs and chose you as the natural replacement. Either way, it leaves a good few seconds of panic “do I look pregnant?” “Can I really make them stand?” “How many stops have I got to go in fear of being judged after they realise I’m not actually pregnant?”
Luckily, there is a moral here; wear your baby on board badge with pride and take every seat offered to you and if you have a seat, offer it up to those with a badge and not those that could be pregnant.
There are the obvious casualties in this scenario when you’re wearing a badge, but no one sees it, or at least pretends not to, leaving someone else to champion their seat needing cause.
Then there is the other Baby on Board badge – the one hanging in the back of the car. I’ll be honest I don’t really understand the purpose of any of these – evidently, the baby isn’t driving so why tell me there is one in the car? Is this to let me know that when you drive dreadfully I’m to blame the baby in the back rather than the fact you are a bad driver? Or do you have a boyfriend that calls you baby and you think it is cute to have a badge letting the world know you’re his baby? This badge serves no purpose. It isn’t like an L or P plate where I alter my driving to reflect your inexperience, I just great frustrated that you think I need to know that you have a baby in the car with you.
Please don’t add Princess, Grandad, Dog or any other objects you want to highlight as being in the car to the back of your car. Thanks.
In fear of turning this blog into something more akin to the Guardian’s website. I’d like to use the last few lines to say “since you are here, would you mind donating to my row down the Thames. The full scoop on the row can be found in a previous post or you can go directly to the donation page here.