Could there be a more useless, useful invention?

Those of us that live in Britain, and are prepared, are likely to have an umbrella in handbags at all times. Or be lucky enough to work in an establishment which has an umbrella stand ready for those showers we have become so accustomed to dodging.

Yet, when the rain starts and you have to walk outside you instantly regret that you have the inconvenience of an umbrella. Do they even keep you dry? Let’s consider the driving rain, where it is coming at you at an angle, you can never seem to get the angle right to keep you dry no matter how hard you try, or if you do you run the risk of the umbrella being pulled apart.

The greater problem; the umbrella death, if it happens during heavy rain, you ideally need an instant replacement, this by nature of circumstance leaves you in Oxford Circus tube station, paying the rain premium price! Or you are nearly through your travels and think I’ll sort this out tomorrow, only to be welcomed by torrential rain. Or worse still, you know that a certain brand is actually reliable, so you aim to replace it, only to fail to get to the shop in time and buy a stop-gap umbrella that is hopeless.


Then there are the other umbrella users. I’m yet to have a shower filled day where someone else has been obstructive in there umbrella use. The worst experience I’ve had? A man had an umbrella with a broken spoke. So this was pooling in the rain. As I walked past, he flicked this pool off his umbrella. Just adding to the water coming in my direction, but under my umbrella as I had gone up to get past him in the street. Then there are the children that feel important with their umbrellas but are stabbing you in the leg.

The problems don’t stop here. There is the umbrella size. I keep a brolly in my bag, this is ideally designed as a brolly for one. But inevitably someone else wants to join you under it leaving you with half a dry body and half a damp body. Or you have the scenario where you lug a golf umbrella around all day, for it to be dry. WHY?

Not only this, but when you reach your destination you have a wet umbrella, that ideally wants leaving open to dry, but it also needs putting away to not be in the way, so you are left frantically shaking it on the way in and praying this will solve the problem. Only to put it down and leave it behind, again leaving you without a shield from the inclement weather.

If anyone would like to invent a solution for those warm, wet days, where a waterproof leaves you wet from sweat, rather than rain that would be ideal.


One thought on “Umbrellas

  1. I saw an umbrella recently here in Canada that was kind of neat – it wrapped around your wrist thus leaving your hands free to carry whatever….and it never went inside out in the wind…but they were $50. I’ll have to go back to the store and check them out.


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